Miss Potter?
by L. Lee Anderson
Summary: If a Harry Potter had been born a girl, life would have been different. If everyone had been born the opposite gender, the whole world would have been different.


This has been on my mind for a long time…It's a basic gender swap..but with the majority of characters as opposite genders and how it would be much different. It's not your typical Harry as a girl but has almost the same life. It's a "Harry was born a girl instead and every other character was born opposite gender as well" I think its called genderbender but have yet to read a story with it classified like that…starts close to the same as the original but then diverges.

Saffron Evans was normal thank you very much. He lived in a normal house, on a normal street, in a normal town, with his normal wife and normal son. He would come home every day from his normal job to his normal family and eat his normal food. Anything abnormal simply did not exist. His weight was normal, though slightly on the thinner side, but his wife made up for the pounds for him. Mrs. Evans was plump to the brim and her baby girl matched.

Saffron enjoyed coming home to see Vera after a hard days work as a dentist assistant. He loved that he was the bread winner and that he had enough money to splurge on his wife. Her extra weight showed to the world that Mr. Evans was not a poor man. His job may not pay much but it paid enough to have a normal life. Yes, Saffron Evans was a very normal man.

One morning, however, his family's normalness ended. As Vera brought in the milk jugs, Saffron heard an awful scream. He ran from his spot by the telly to the front door. There, cradled in a soft pink blanket, was a baby. His eyes widened and turned to his wife. Vera glared at him with a letter clutched in her plump. She shoved it in his face and simply stated the word 'no.' She stormed back into the house and picked up her large child. She ignored her husband standing in the doorway with the letter in his hand.

Vera was much too normal to have her husbands brother's daughter in her house. The letter said that he was the child's only family but she would rather see that kid in an orphanage than have it taint her precious Daffy.

Vera was cooing at her baby but still heard the door close softly. Through her long brown hair, she glanced up at her husband. He held the baby in one arm and the baby in the other. "Ver," he said softly. "I know what you think," he paused. "But you don't know these people. Those weirdos will only bring the girl back to us. Its better if we just cooperate with them and see how soon we can get rid of her." Vera glared at him.

"But what about Daffy? What if _she_ does sorcery on her? My precious baby!" Vera clutched her child to her chest. "I don't want that _thing_ in my house!"

"Ver…We are the child's only hope right now and we are all she has. I don't like it any more than you but _it _will come back to us if we give _it _away. Besides if we can get her while she's young and teach her what not to do, she won't turn into a freak like my brother!" He finished. He put the child on the floor and went back to his telly.

Vera made sure to keep her darling Daffy on the other end of the room. She placed her in her bouncy seat and returned to the couch with her husband. She sat at the far end of the couch and glared at her niece. This was not good news. Not good news at all. It was…abnormal news with an abnormal child. What would the neighbors think?

Daffy Evans rolled down the stairs early in the morning. Of any other child her age, one might say she ran down the stairs or strolled down the stairs. With Daffy's size and roundness, however, the more appropriate term would be rolled. When she reached the bottom, she did a slight jump, which shook some nearby furniture. Stomped her way to the cupboard under the stairs and yelled, "Hey dip face!" She pounded on the door. "It's my birthday today dip face! I'm hungry!" She slammed her pudgy hand against the door. "I said get _up_!" With that, she flounced into the living room to watch some telly.

Mary Potter lay on her small bed and grumbled to herself. There was another mouse in her cupboard last night so she hadn't slept very well. Knowing what today was made the night worse as well. Her cousin, Daffy, was known through the Evans house as a princess. 'A princess who lacks manners,' thought Mary. Daffy was always showered with gifts on her birthday and every other holiday. Her birthday though was the worst. Last year it had been a princess themed party with all the other girls from school invited, except Mary. She was kept locked in her cupboard the whole time. Mary did not like it one bit. This year however, Daffy decided she wanted to go to the mall and shop at the new princess store. Knowing her cousin would be out of sight and she would be free (slightly) at Mr. Figgs, brightened her mood that morning.

Mary sat up in her bed and rubbed her face. It seemed like she never got enough sleep. Always tired. Always a little hungry. Always something. She was used to it. After living with her aunt and uncle for as long as she could remember, it was the only thing she knew.

She was just placing her feet on the small amount of floor when she heard her aunts footsteps. Aunt Vera had the heaviest footsteps in the house. Slow but heavy steps, unlike her cousin who had quick pounding steps or her uncles exactly even steps that seemed hushed. Mary quickly stood up, almost hitting her head against the top of the stairs. She turned the handle on the door to open it as quietly as she could. The door however wouldn't budge. Mary put her forehead to the door in defeat.

"Mummy!" Mary heard from the other side of the door. Of course it had to be her cousin pressed against the door. "It's my birthday mummy!"

On the other side of the door, Daffy smiled at her mother and gave her a hug. "Where's my presents?" The brown haired child asked her mother as they started to walk into the kitchen. "And my breakfast," she patted her hefty stomach. "I"m hungry."

Vera looked around the kitchen for her niece. Glancing over to the cupboard, she saw her niece sneaking out. "You are just now getting up girl! We can't have you lying around especially on a day like today!" Mary rolled her eyes at her aunt as she went over to the pantry to get out ingredients for whatever it was that _princess_ Daffy wanted for breakfast.

"Pancakes and bacon for breakfast!" Daffy answered the unasked question. "With extra syrup!" she added. Mary obliged by getting out all the ingredients and soon had breakfast whipped up for her family.

They all ate in the living room in front of the telly, except Mary, who ate hers in the kitchen after she cleaned up the mess. A pancake and two _accidentally_ burnt pieces of bacon was a feast to her. She gobbled it up quickly before her aunt had a chance to yell at her for something or other.

Just as she had taken the last bite of food, the phone rang. Her aunt answered it in her fake cheer voice. As the conversation went on, however, it lost most of it's cheeriness. After she hung up she grumbled. "Girl!" Vera shouted. Putting her plate in the sink, she went to her aunt.

"Dafs, I'm sorry but she has to come with us today." Vera said, ignoring Mary. Mary didn't mind and was grinning on the inside. "Mr. Figg broke his leg again and can't watcher her while we go to the mall." Daffy faked tearing up and wailed. Vera patted her daughters shoulder comfortingly. She finally turned to her niece.

"You!" she said harshly. "I want no funny business out of you. If you so much as look at Daffy or Paris today I swear I'll-"

The door bell rang.

"Cupboard for a week," Vera said as she walked to the front door. Daffy stopped crying and smirked at her cousin. The stout cousin then pinched the other girl in the arm. Just as she was about to retaliate, her aunt returned with Paris. Vera glared at Mary before asking the newcomer to sit down.

Vera started to politely talk with Paris after telling her daughter and niece to go get dressed and wear something nice, which was directed at Mary. Everyone knew that Mary didn't own anything that wasn't handed down from Daffy. Mary was always embarrassed to be out in public. Her cousin had horrible fashion taste, not that Mary was allowed to have taste.

So Mary went into her room and found the best thing she could. Afterward she went into the bathroom to wash her face. As she splashed water on her face she wondered, not for the first time, about her parents. Freckles sprinkled across her button nose. Her eyes shined gold in the summer and when she was happy, otherwise her brown eyes make her plain, in her opinion. Her red hair however, is what really had her curious. Her uncle had blonde hair and she had never seen a picture of her father, or her mother. She only knew that she got her smile from her father, for the fact she had the same one as her uncle, on the rare occasions he did smile. All she knew was that her family died in a car crash.

Knowing she looked as good as she was going to get, Mary slipped a faded headband into her flowing locks. She hurried out of the bathroom right before Daffy came rolling down the stairs again. Mary quietly stood outside of the living room knowing to make herself scarce. If she did anything, she might just be locked in her cupboard for the next week!

Mrs. Evans rounded up the girls and helped them into the car. Normally, Mary would sit in the backseat with Daffy or in the middle seat when there was a friend. On that day, Vera made Mary sit in the front seat in order to not upset the birthday _princess_. Mary didn't mind. She wasn't being squashed or poked at (unless one counted the seat kicking). Mary knew that as long as she did the best she could, it would actually be a great day.

It was too. As soon as the quartet arrived at the mall, Daffy howled for some ice-cream. After scooping some for Daffy and Paris, the ice-cream man asked Mary what she wanted. Vera, trying to act normal, ordered Mary a one scoop orange sherbet. The redhead didn't mind at all. She happily licked it as they all walked around and ooh'd and ahh'd at clothes and toys. When they arrived at the princess store, they met up with Mr. Evans. He had gotten them an all pink table at the restaurant, seated for four. Mary stood silently until the waitress noticed the lack of a seat. With a glare aimed at Saffron, the waitress quickly returned with a light yellow chair that clashed with all the decor on the table. Again, Mary didn't mind. Her favorite color was yellow. It was turning into a perfect day as far as she was concerned. She was even allowed to order a grilled cheese (the cheapest on the menu) and chocolate milk (the other girls had ordered chocolate milks and the server brought it to all of them).

Afterward lunch, each girl got a dress of her choosing in the store as part of the party process. Her aunt and uncle exchanged a look but couldn't object in front of the clerks. Daffy ordered the pouffiest, pinkest dress there with a sparkly crown to match. Paris received a purple princess dress not nearly as extravagant as her friends. Mary knew not to push her luck and somehow managed to find a soft yellow dress that wasn't princess style at all. The clerks had rolled their eyes at the other two dresses but when Mary brought hers, they grew confused. They looked it over and asked Mary where she had gotten it from. She told them where but they couldn't find the same one anywhere. Shrugging her shoulders, the first clerk scanned the barcode. The system said it existed but no one remembered ordering it.

Mary brushed it off. She was just excited she had something that fit her! And she liked it too!

Vera and Saffron exchanged a look and got the children out of there as soon as possible before anyone noticed anything else abnormal. Daffy pouted as her mom dragged her out of the store but stopped after a promise for another pretty outfit. Paris gave Mary a weird look before catching up to her friend. That's when her uncle pulled her aside.

"I thought we told you no funny business." He stated to her with his eyes in slits.

"Aunt Vera told me no funny business, not you," she informed her uncle. He clenched his jaw. "I didn't do anything! All I did was sit and do as I was told." Saffron nodded thoughtfully before turning and following his wife. Mary stood there wondering what the conversation was about for a second before catching up to her _family_ as well.

Mary hung back in the next stores and watched as her aunt and uncle bought her spoiled cousin clothes and toys at all the stores. It wasn't until a few hours later that the day changed for Mary as well as her family.

After much shopping, resulting in Mary, Saffron, and Vera carrying many shopping bags, did the group stop to drink some slushies. Mary was not included in drinking slushies but she didn't really mind. She had always thought they looked weird to begin with and also didn't want to push her luck. But as luck would have it, that luck was pushed.

As they started to head back to the mall entrance, Daffy saw it. There off to the side, sat a little pet store. In the front sat a gorgeous austrailian shepherd puppy. Her blue eyes sparkled as she played with a blue ball with another puppy. Daffy ran to the window and started cooing at it. Mary rolled her eyes. Daffy had never been a good one with animals. Daffy's goldfish lasted a month, the lizard lasted a couple weeks, she even managed to kill a turtle.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans though knew they could not deny the precious child the gift of a puppy. Vera's brother bred dogs but Daffy had never been that fond of those. The small puppy with gray and white splotches had caught the eleven year olds attention.

The parents rushed into the store with Daffy and Paris, with Mary lagging behind. It was a beautiful dog but Mary prayed it wouldn't have the same tragic fate as the other animals. If it had any hope to survive, it would be through Mary's doing probably.

As the parents talked with the owner about the dog and prices and collars and toys and all the other oddities, Mary wandered the small shop. A couple of cats and dogs were in their cages, but for the most part the pet store contained the _different_ pets. A cage of mice sat next to the cats, who were eying them up. Other rodents were next to them. A green lizard lay still, basking in the light in another cage. Toward the back of the store, Mary found the strangest animal yet. _Black Corn Snake _read the sign.

She looked at the beautiful majestic creature twirled around a fake log. It was white with black diamond across the smooth skin. Mary stroked the grass. "Finally someone takes interest in me for my beauty. Everyone else wants a pretty little puppy or cute little kitten. I could eat half these animals for dinner."

Mary stepped back. She'd never seen a talking snake before. "Must have frightened the child. While she does look tasty, I think she's a bit too big for me to swallow." The snake hissed, slithering up the log more.

"You can talk," Mary said quietly back to the snake. She leaned a little closer to the reptile. Her brown eyes widened at the response it gave her.

"Of course I can talk darling. All animals can talk. Not many people are snake speakers though. Most of my kind believe they have gone extinct. If I had any friends I'd go tell them. But alas," the snake hit the glass with her tail. "I'm stuck in this thing." Mary, still a little frightened, stroked the glass sadly. She didn't have any friends either. If she could, she would love to have this snake.

As luck would have it, the glass vanished under her fingertips. "Oh deary I thought there was something special about you!" The snake said to her. It slithered around to touch her hand. Mary retreated. "Come on darling, I won't bite."

"What are you doing!" Mary whispered to the snake. It may be a nice snake but it was still a snake! A talking snake! And the glass was gone that was protecting her from it!

"Deary, I've decided I want to keep you. Know give me your arm before that impish little girl comes over here!" Mary glanced over her shoulder and saw Paris trying to sneak over to her. Reluctantly, Mary put out her hand to the snake. It was her only friend and if she died by it then at least she was out of her misery. The snake slithered up her arm and into her shirt. It wrapped around her torso comfortably, although a bit cold.

"What are you doing over here weirdo?" Paris said loudly into Mary's ear. Mary whirled around and faced her.

"Why does it matter to you? I'm looking at things. Why aren't you with your mistress Daffodil? Or did she send you over here because you can't think on your own?" Mary retorted. _I can bite her if you wish deary,_ the snake said. Mary's eyes widened. She didn't want Paris to know about her talking snake.

"What's with the face freak? Catch sight of your reflection?" Paris said giving Mary an up down. The snake squeezed Mary lightly, perhaps in encouragement.

"No actually I caught sight of yours. One of you is bad enough. I don't know how you can handle trying on clothes in a three way mirror." With that Mary walked toward the front of the shop as her aunt and uncle where finishing up their purchases.

Mary stood in the corner watching the front desk. "_Why didn't she hear you," _Mary whispered, making it look like she was cooing to a nearby cat. This was the weirdest thing she had ever encountered in her life.

"_Because you're a speaker darling. You can hear me and speak my language but normal people can't. We-"_

_"Hush we will talk later tonight." _Mary told the snake when she saw everyone starting to leave. The snake hissed an agreement. She walked out of the door like nothing happened. She knew that she was stealing but it wasn't stealing if the animal wanted to come with you and told you to take it right? Mary didn't know but as far as she was concerned, she had a friend. A cold slithery snake friend but a friend none the less.

She had had one friend before in the past. Her name was Clare, a shy blonde girl who went to her school. They were friends for a whole two days before Daffy found out and threatened the poor child. Clare hadn't spoken to her since.

A snake wasn't so bad, Mary thought as she got into her aunts car. She could carry it with ease and it held its own. She hoped she wouldn't have to feed it. She had a hard enough time finding food for herself. Hopefully it knew how to hunt. _It._ She thought. She was pretty sure the snake was female but she didn't know if animals were now longer an _it_ when they could talk.

Daffy and Paris sat in the backseat of the car with the little puppy between them. Names for the dog were going between them. Princess, Lady, duchess… 'Nothing original,' thought Mary. She thought it looked more like a Sara. "Daffy pumpkin. The pet store owner said the dog was a boy. I don't think those are boys names," Aunt Vera said the girls in the back.

'Thank gosh,' Mary thought. 'Nothing deserves that horrible of a name.'

"What about Prince Mum? Is Prince a good name?" Daffy said. She looked at her mother expectantly. Mary had an idea.

"Prince is good," Mary told her cousin. "It's so unique. I thought you would have said Lord. Lord is much more normal. I think that name is in at least six or seven movies. Prince is just weirder." Mary said smirking out her window.

"Considering we are a normal family," Vera glared at the red head, "I think Lord is a lovely name for the puppy. Don't you think so pumpkin?" Daffy nodded eagerly. Mary's plan had worked. Prince made her think of the American singer. She thought it was hideous and surprisingly _normal_. She almost laughed.

Vera dropped Paris off at her house before driving back home. Right after, Vera ripped into Mary. "One day! All I asked of you was one day to be normal. But no you have to show Paris what a freak you are and with that hideous dress too! I wouldn't be surprised if you stole that dress from somewhere and tried convince those poor ladies that it was from their store. You are going to bed with out supper as soon as we get home _girl_!" Vera finished in a rage. "My darling Daffodil, you were wonderful today. You have such good fashion sense and taste in dogs too! I'm so proud of you," Vera said as she reached back and patted her daughter on the knee. Daffy smirked at her mother's praises.

When the car parked in the drive way, Mary scurried out. She was eager to talk to her new friend, even if it meant going to her cupboard for the rest of the night. Daffy proudly took her puppy out of the car and strolled passed her cousin to the telly. Vera came in last and walked behind her niece and put her in the cupboard. "Better be behaving until morning _girl_ or else…" Vera told her as she bolted the door. She then went bustling to the kitchen to make supper for her _normal _family.

Mary hardly even cared. She sat criss cross on her small little cot and put her hand on her stomach for her snake to come out. The black and white snake slithered onto her arm silently. "_Hello again deary. Goodness this is your home?" _The creature asked her.

"_It's my…room I guess you could say."_ Mary quickly grew embarrassed. The snake might not like her and just choose to be free instead.

"_Well it looks like you know what kind of living conditions I've been in. Are you supposed to be a pet?"_ The snake said curiously. Mary was shocked and shook her head.

"I_'m a girl of course! Not a pet! I'm just a wretched _burden_ to them. I'd rather live anywhere than here…I keep hoping some lost relative will find me and save me."_

_"Well until then dear, I'll keep you company. Ooh and you keep treats in here! Might I have it?" _ At this Mary was confused. She didn't remember bringing in any treats. If she had they would already be in her stomach…Or maybe it was some crackers that she had stored in here for warning of a day in the cupboard. She shrugged her shoulders at the snake.

"_Delightful. All that time in the cage I just got the weak or sick ones. But this one is fresh!" _The snake glided off of her arm onto the cot and then under it. Mary stuck her head under to see what her friend was doing. It slithered over to the corner and curled up. Just as Mary was about to ask her friend what it was doing, she heard a slight squeak. The mouse from the night before!

The snake raised her head and as soon as the mouse stepped foot out of the hole, it was in the snakes mouth before Mary even noticed. She simply sat up on her bed and didn't think much of it. The snake rustled around some more under her bed before returning to the bed and the small girls arm. The snake had a noticeable size lump in it now as it moved. Mary wasn't sure if the lump moved for a couple minutes or if it was just her imagination.

"_I think I shall like it here Speaker. There is a light draft I can feel from that hole. More treats shall make their way in to me." _Mary snorted at that.

"_So…snake…err what is your name?" _Mary asked quietly. She wasn't sure what the proper manners were when talking to a snake.

"_Snakes do not have names. That is a human of human creation." _The black and white creature replied. It squeezed her wrist gently.

"_But what am I to call you? I can't simply just be saying here snake when I can't find you," _Mary stated. She couldn't imagine calling for a snake like a dog or a cat. 'Who's a good snaky,' thought Mary with a silent laugh. "_Besides what if I meet another snake? How would I refer to you? Or ask a question to you in a room full of snakes?" _

The creature thought for a second. "_I had never thought of it that way. If you were discussing me to another snake, it would be able to smell my sent and know if it knew me. But humans do enjoy names so much. So my pet, pick a few _names_ for me to choose from." _Mary had assumed the snake knew that it was sort of like a pet. She was not expecting the snake to assume that she was a pet.

"_I am a girl not a pet I told you that before!" _Mary hissed back to the snake. "_You are the one the one that would be considered a pet! I could just as easily scream and have my aunt unlock the cupboard. If I mention that mouse could have been that silly puppy, she'd let me kill you out back. I could hang your carcass out as a warning to all snakes!" _The snake tightened around her arm.

"_Child, I am willing to compromise to you. You do favors to me, I do favors to you. Neither of us shall be forced into being a pet for the other. No need to bring violence into this," _The snake said turning her head. Mary huffed a sigh. She didn't really mean to upset the snake. She had hoped a friendship was forming. She was just tired after a long night and the wonderful day she had.

Mary attempted to make up for what she had said. "_…Well…What about Gloria_?" The snake hissed in disgust. "_Jasmine_?" Another protest. "_Diamond_?" The snake made the closest noise it could to a groan.

"_Think outside of the box dear_," The snake said, finally turning its head back to the red haired girl.

Mary closed her eyes and thought about what one of the most beautiful names could be for such a beautiful, and vain, snake. "_Tatianna_," Mary stated. She glanced at her snake. It seemed to be weighing it. After a few seconds, it nodded.

"_And I suppose you would like to tell me your name dearly?" _Tatianna asked. She didn't really care if the human told her or not. It would be helpful in discussing her with other snakes and, if by chance, another speaker.

"_My aunt and uncle refuse to talk about my name with me. All I know is that they changed it for school so people wouldn't think that I was their daughter. I know I'm supposed to be an Evans but as much as I know, my name is Mary Potter."_

**Please leave reviews and comments or questions :) **


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